Stupid Songs Idiots Like - Entry 2

Today, we have a critique of an attempted parody song that's been making the rounds. I say 'attempt', because it ends up saying more about the song writer than the topic it's meant to be addressing.

The Song
A Scary Time For Boys - Lynzy Lab

What People Think It's About
Well, I guess it's supposed to be about how difficult it is to be an attractive blond woman in the United States.

What It's Really About
The singer's laundry list of personal insecurities and ongoing battle with paranoia.

Let's just go down the lyrics.

"I can't walk to my car late at night on the phone..."
- You should never be doing this. Ever. This is stupid. I don't care if you're a woman or a man. You're in a transitional space and being WILLFULLY distracted. That's where many attacks happen to ANY victim. You could also get splattered by a car you didn't see and walked out in front of, or faceplant on the curb because you didn't pay attention to your surroundings.

"I can't open up my windows when I'm home all alone..."
- Where the hell do you live, Afghanistan? If you live in an area where people who open their windows are assured of being attacked, then fucking MOVE. Otherwise, you're being paranoid and perhaps need medication.

"I can't go to the bar without a chaperone..."
- What bars are you going to? Again, is this Bangladesh or India?  Is the bar known for being the hang out of of a biker gang? Are you perhaps too dumb to go out in public by yourself in general? I mean, that would explain a lot. We've already established that you wander around intentionally oblivious to your surroundings, so maybe you're just dumb?

"I can't wear a mini skirt if it's the only one I own"
- I'm not sure what this means. Are you saying you have to own more than one mini skirt to wear one, or all you own is a mini skirt? Or are you saying that you're getting eyes and attention by wearing clothing that's, well, kinda designed specifically to do that? I mean I can't actually believe you don't know that. I don't see fit, ripped guys wearing tight t-shirts complaining 'Ugh, women are slyly looking me up and down and making me uncomfortable, ugh, they're so insensitive.'

"I can't use public transportation after 7pm..."
- Do your buses and trains shut down at 7 or something? I think this may be due to how she wants to wander around with her mind totally detached from what's going on around her as opposed to anything else. I mean I once was having an in depth conversation with a guy on the bus and missed my stop, so you actually DO need to pay attention at times, which I'm guessing she doesn't like doing. But if you're genuinely avoiding the bus after a certain time because people on there get attacked all the time after that time, then you need to probably move. Or, maybe you need that medication we talked about earlier?

"I can't be brutally honest when you slide into my DMs..."
- I had to look this up, because I haven't been 'cool' in a long time. It's something about direct messaging someone in social media with the hope of getting a booty call, I guess? Why wouldn't you be honest? I'm actually seeing a trend here. A lot of these are not "I can't" really, it's more of a "I don't have the fortitude to do this." This is a laundry list that is saying way more about YOU than anything else.

"I can't go to the clubs just to dance with my friends..."
- Yeah you can. If you lack the conviction or fortitude to tell unwanted attention that you're not interested, then go to a dyke bar. You won't have any men hit on you there. Problem solved. Right now you're getting yourself all dolled up and going to a place that, culturally, is designed specifically to facilitate meeting members of the opposite sex (why do you think 'Ladies drink free!' and "Ladies Night!" exist?) and complaining that members of the opposite sex try to awkwardly try to get to know you. That's like me going to a cigar shop and complaining that there's smoke in the air.

"I can't ever leave my drink unattended..."
- Again, that's just stupid. Why would you order an EXPENSIVE drink at a bar, where individual drinks cost as much a six pack in the store, and just LEAVE it there? I did that once. I came back, and it was gone. The waitress apparently thought I had left and disposed of it. Again, we see the theme that she shouldn't have to pay attention to anything.

"... and any woman you've assaulted could turn up anytime..."
- See, this is why I always wrap my victims in chicken wire, weight with stones and toss them in the river. Nobody's showing back up from that. But seriously, the fear is that having done nothing, you still get smeared. That's really the genuine fear. If you DO do something like that, then yeah, you should be afraid that your victim would come after you. Or their brothers or father. The easy way around this for guys is a two step approach. First, DON'T HANG OUT ALONE WITH MENTALLY UNBALANCED AND/OR PARANOID WOMEN. EVER. AT ALL. Also, in professional settings, always follow the Mike Pence rule. Third, don't go home, or even date, women you pick up in a dance club or bar. There are exceptions, but for the most part, they are NOT wife/partner material.

An example of what a mentally unbalanced, crazy woman might look like.

"...can't speak to a woman or look her in the eyes..."
- No man should behave this way. She won't respect you and, if you don't look at her in the eyes, you can't tell if she has CRAZY EYES. I can't tell how important that last point is. (Again, reference photo directly above).

"...it's so confusing, is it rape or just being nice..."
- Well, before you modern women went insane, that wasn't a problem. Because in fairness, when you have people complaining that getting a compliment about how you 'look beautiful' is the equivalent of sexual assault, I can't blame them if some people wonder if genuinely just being nice can get them into trouble.

"...I can't live in an apartment if it's on the first floor..."
- OK, here we're getting close to confirmation that you have a genuine paranoid mental issue. If you live in a location where it's literally too dangerous to live on the ground floor, then you live in a location where it's too dangerous to live on ANY of the floors. Perhaps if you live in the wonderfully Democrat controlled inner city of Baltimore this would be understandable, but by the look of you and the surroundings in your video, that doesn't seem likely. Have you perhaps considered Risperidone or Clozapine?

"...I can't be wearing silk pajamas when I answer the door..."
- See, here is another conflicting statement. It's just too brutally dangerous to live in a first floor apartment in your area, but in the SAME area, you will just open your door for a random stranger? How retarded is that? That's pretty retarded. If you have a stranger knocking on your door on an upper floor in an apartment building, that's a weird situation, as the main entrance to the stairs is usually controlled access. I wouldn't do that either, and I don't own anything that's silk.

Oh, I have heard some good things about Olanzapine! Tried that?

"...I can't have another drink even if I want more..."
- OMG I totally can't drink myself senseless around strangers! To make that statement is to show yourself to be an idiot. I wouldn't do that either, and I probably outweigh your bony ass by 100 pounds and I know how to take care of myself. But notice one thing: she already mentions, by inference, that she doesn't go to bars or clubs alone and goes with friends or a 'chaperone'. What you're saying here is that you can't even trust you friends or your designated chaperone. That just tells me you have shitty friends. Or, again, you're suffering from paranoia.

"...I can't make you feel invalid..."
- I... I don't know what that means.

"... I can't jog around the city with headphones on my ears..."
- Again with the total lack of responsibility. I'm sensing the trend.

"... I can't speak out against my rapist after 35 years... "
- Oh you can speak out, but don't expect to get far if you remember nothing about the event that can be verified, people you claim were with you either don't recall or contradict you, etc. You should do it right away. Or better yet, shoot or stab the person attempting it. (sexual assault is considered a lethal attack for purposes of self defense law). You're a 'strong, independent woman', right? Act like it.

"...I can't be taken seriously if I'm holding back tears..."
- Opposite, actually. Every woman out there knows that her super power is to cry, or 'try to hold back tears'. I'm not even going to bother defending that position because every one of you knows it to be true. Now, as a man, I won't be taken seriously if I start weeping when arguing with someone. Which is exactly how it should be.

"...And I can't even speak earnestly about all these fears..."
- If your fears are irrational, which I think we're all starting to see is the case, then yeah, you shouldn't. Meds above should help with that.

"...Can't text a girl repeatedly asking for nudes..."
- Here I can't help but comment: I very much doubt, based entirely on your video appearance here, that you actually have this problem. Ok, with that out of the way, the first time you have someone do that, you should act the same way if you get a MLM business spam text, block them at once and be done. It's not that difficult. or have your 'chaperone' do if for you if you just don't have the fortitude to do it.

"...boys have always had a choice..."
- This is indeed true. And it's time men exercise that choice and DON'T associate with people like this. They are angry at the world and not worth chasing. Spend your younger years NOT dating or trying to get laid. Go do you own thing, establish yourself, work to be successful, DON'T RUSH IT, and you'll find worthwhile women come out of the woodwork.

Worked for me. It can work for you.

I'm A Disgusting Racist!

Did I ever tell you all about the time I was accused of racism before the city government?

Me, apparently?

Well, sit back and let old Mike Johnson tell you the story...

It all happened some years back. In those days I was trying to get into real estate heavily. I made a few deals, some profitable, some not so. One of the better deals I landed was a house in a VERY desirable area at just the right price point. It was an area with one of the best school districts, very desirable area favorable for commuting to downtown. PERFECT! As soon as I had it prepped to lease option, I started getting a LOT of interest.

I mean a LOT of interest.

Of many people who came though to see the house was an African American woman. She liked the house and wanted to submit an application. I received her application a day later... but there were some problems.

In my application docs I stated clearly that applicants must have full down payment and no evictions within the last several years to be approved. Well, this lady wrote that she didn't have the down payment, but wanted to work it out in payments. Also, and this was the kicker, she actually DID have an eviction on her record in just the last year. Just one of those was enough to invalidate the application, but she had both strikes.

Anyway, like I said, I had a lot of interest and I think it was two days after that that I got the winning app: the family had the full down payment and a great renting background. I signed them up and they moved it.

Fast forward two weeks and I get a large document package in the mail from my city's housing authority. They were writing to tell me that I had been officially accused of racial discrimination in housing by refusing to rent a property to the woman I mentioned above. The lady had actually called in to the office and told them, DIRECTLY, that I refused to rent the house to her because she was black.

At first I thought there had to be some mistake. I took the case number, called the office and asked what this was all about. Nope, it was no mistake. This lady officially opened a complaint of racist housing practices with the government. I was totally shocked.

I asked the lady at the office I spoke with what proof this woman had given that I had racially discriminated against her, as I didn't see anything referenced in the documents they had sent. She told me that opening a complaint required no evidentiary support for her claim, that was only needed if the case went to a full trial. She continued that I could of course deny the claim, but i would need to provide conclusive evidence that I had NOT racially discriminated in order to have the case closed.

Now, just think about that for a sec. You don't need to provide ANY evidence of any kind to accuse someone, but the ACCUSED must provide conclusive proof that he DIDN'T do the crime. That's official FUCKING POLICY. I was beyond incensed. I don't think I've ever been that angry before or since then.

Well, after that conversation I took the official's advice and contacted an attorney. I would have done so anyway, as if you try to fight a legal battle with a government and represent yourself you're just ASKING to be screwed.

So, $700 in attorney fees later (which I could barely afford) my attorney sent an official response, along with copies of my correspondence, the docs I include with the application, the application itself, my reasons for rejecting the application, EVERYTHING. My attorney laid out the data quite well. I thought that was going to be the end of it.

LOLOLOL!!! Yeah, it wasn't. You see, after getting all this the rep called the woman back and laid out everything. The woman's response, thought, was to lie. She told the rep that I already KNEW about all these issues on her application, and her not having the down payment, and that I had told her they were not a big deal and we could work around it. Yes, that's what she told the rep, and the rep forwarded to me. I of course denied that and again got very angry and wanted to know what evidence the woman had given her that I said I would overlook all those issues. The rep told me she hadn't given any, and wasn't required to do so, as this wasn't a trial. But because of her response, the case couldn't be closed.

The accuser, who accused me with NO evidence to back it up, was able to bat aside the mountain of evidence I provided (that I shouldn't have had to provide in the first place) that showed my innocence, merely by making up a completely baseless lie.

Seriously, stop reading now and just think about that for a second.

Done? OK, let's continue.

So, after that I called my attorney again (and spent several hundred more dollars, because nothing with attorneys is free). He recommended I reach out to the people I rented the house to and get them to assist. I REALLY didn't want to do that, because this is NOT their problem and it shouldn't involve them in any way. But, short of spending a LOT more money prepping for a trial, I didn't have much of a choice. So I reached out to the family I rented to. When I spoke to the husband, a very pleasant air force vet who worked with troubled inner city kids (that sounds like a Lifetime movie character, I know, but I swear that's what he actually did) he immediately agreed to help. In fact, he got kind of angry when I told him what was happening as well. So I gave his number to the rep and she reached out.

I called back two days later and spoke to the rep and she informed me she closed the case. Interestingly, now that there was no longer an official complaint against me, she was rather talkative. She told me that after she informed the lady that, based on her latest findings, there was no way the city could continue the complaint. The lady then claimed... Well, let me just quote the city rep from memory. No it's not verbatim, but it's close:

"Then she said, 'well, he musta turned me down because I'm a single mother then.' And I told her 'Sorry ma'am, that's not a protected class.'"

You may find that unbelievable, but I swear to you it's the truth. That's what she told me. It floored me to be honest.

She also told me that just based on the package I had originally sent her, had the situation gone to trial, the complaint would have been thrown out almost at once. In fact, lots of these complaints end up just like this, with the complaining party withdrawing their complaint as the date for trial gets close.

After all this, I asked the rep what I could do to recoup my losses in this. Her answer: nothing. Yes, you read that right, I could do NOTHING. In fact, the law directly PROHIBITS people from going after even demonstrably FALSE claims such as these (and the rep agreed, it was an obviously false claim). Now, if it had actually gone to trial, there was a slim possibility that the law would allow me to try to recoup, but as mentioned above, the accuser wasn't going to let it go to trial anyway.

But, you may be thinking, it all ended well! Truth prevailed! Why are you upset? Well, for starters, I had slightly over 1,000 reasons to be upset, counted in US dollars to my attorney, tot to mention sleepless night worrying about losing my business and savings in a case of slander and having my good name destroyed. What did the accuser lose? About 20 minutes total in time on the phone. That's it. So no, fuck you, the 'kids aren't alright'.

I suffered REAL LOSSES all because this lying, narcissistic bitch was angry that she didn't get what she wanted and wanted revenge for it. And the government assisted her, and PROTECTED HER so she could KNOWINGLY do it because, as I detailed above, there is no way she could be 'mistaken' about why she was turned down.

So, there ends the story.

Why do I bring this up now? Because our culture has this problem, and encourages it. Specifically with this bullshit of 'We believe victims!'. The correct attitude to have should be 'We believe victims, if there is an actual reason and evidence given to support their claim.' Too many people reflexivly accept the first while thinking the second is 'too harsh'. This is because they are emotional geldings, easy marks with no spine or use of reason, who abandon all logical thinking the moment they hear a wavering voice or see the glisten of a tear. They rush automatically, and stupidly, unthinkingly, to the defense, just like Kirk in that old episode 'Elaan of Troyius'.

"But it's not a TRIAL (yet), we don't NEED evidence!" Thing is, you can destroy people, ruin them, drive them out of business, without even going to trial, especially if you have media support.

It may seem harsh. It may offend the delicate sensibilities of any 'White Knights' reading this, but you must demand evidence of things, not be slaved to your emotions. Act like men, not like characters in an Oxygen channel movie.

P.S. Almost forgot. The reason asking the people I rented the house to ended the complaint? They were an African American family. Had I not been able to do that, I honestly don't know if I could have financially survived all the costs with prepping for a court battle with the city, a battle which, like all the other times I've heard of, ends up getting canceled by the accuser, but not before you shell out all the cash to prep.