(Very Late) Thoughts on Paris

I have had literally zeros of people ask me "Hey Mike 'The Landlord' Johnson, what are YOUR thoughts on the Paris terrorism incident?" (Just FIY, it is a felony in 12 states to address me without using my full title.)

Well, here they are. The things I do for you people.

I'm going to list a bunch of points in no real particular order, except for the last. The last point WILL be the most important. I'm also not going to touch on the whole refugee angle. I'm willing to do something that I think few others are: admit that I don't know enough about that whole situation to have an informed opinion on the particulars.

One thing I keep reading online and hear people say in various news reports is some version of "I just don't feel safe anymore." Well, that's because you aren't "safe". In fact, you never were safe, and you never will be. "Safety" doesn't really exist. What you have in reality is a level of risk. You can never bring that level to zero, even with a strident police state. That being said, your risk as an American of being a victim of such an act of terrorism is really low. I don't know exactly what the numbers are but I'm betting the chances of it happening to an average American in the States hovers somewhere around  'getting struck by lightning while simultaneously making out with Dita Von Teese' kind of rare. This also applies to the mass shooting events we've had in the states. So, lighten up, Francis.

You are actually far more likely to be the victim of a mugging, carjacking, rape (which, depending on where you live, your race, etc., is also really rare) than be the victim of a terrorist attack. If you don't worry about those, why are you worried about this?

Instead of worrying, become as prepared as you can reasonably be for these and other eventualities. (see my other post about the difference between 'preparedness' and 'paranoia'.) Since this is about 'Paris style' attacks, let's discuss a little of what you can do depending on your situation when the event unfolds.

You're just hanging out and a suicide bomb goes off

Well, there are a couple of possibilities here:

A. You're killed by the blast.
Well, that sucks, but there's not a lot you can do to prepare for that. (more on that in a second)

B. You're wounded badly.
Again, not a LOT you can do. If you're able, try to stabilize yourself. There's going to be more wounded than just you, and others may command the attention of first responders before you. Try to get that bleeding stopped.

C. You're only lightly injured or not at all
Who's the first responder? You are.  You're already there. By definition you're there 'first'. Do you know the basics? You don't? Learn them! There are lots of places and people who will willingly teach you. Classes for the basics of first aid are cheap and easily found. Remember, you're not going to suture wounds, administer medication or preform amputations. You're trying to stabilize so people won't bleed out and die before the real professionals get there. Learn how to do that. Consider carrying a small blow-out kit.

What about what happened at the metal concert, ie the guys who started machine-gunning people?

This gets a little more vague, as it really depends on your situation. Are you there alone? Are you with family and can escape? Are there professionals already there dealing with it? If the second point applies, your duty is to get your family out first. If the third, I can't say directly. Maybe the situation will call for you to engage, maybe not.

If you're there in a situation like what took place at that concert hall, be ready to close and engage if you can. Do you have your weapon with you? You should. Engage with that if the situation calls for it. Remember you're not going to reenact the lobby scene from the Matrix. You're not going to prevent this from happening. Shit is already going down. People are wounded, dying or dead already. Your job in that case is to stop the attack if you can, or be a speed bump at worst. I'm also not saying you should be suicidal. But, if it looks like you're about to be forced to check out, go out fighting the best you can. Your actions may save the lives of many others.

This means you need to practice with your weapon. You need to practice under stress especially. Even more than that, you need to prepare your mind for such an occasion. The great Massad Ayoob gave a great lecture (it's available on YouTube) about people who survived gun fights, especially ones where the defender was struck. The survivors, CCW people and cops, had all prepared their minds beforehand. They programed themselves in a way by fixing in their minds the idea that, if I'm hit or wounded, I will NOT go down. I will STAY in the fight. None of that comes naturally to people. BTW, this mindset preparation also applies if you're just there helping the wounded, as described several paragraphs above. Some people will simply freeze and lock up when it comes to facing horrible injuries. Prepare yourself ahead of time as best you can so that you can deal with it.

Ok, so what about that last point that I mentioned was the MOST important. It's simply this:

BE READY TO DIE.

Seriously, if it's your time to go, be ready for that as best you can be. Our animal natures will quite rightly revolt as death comes, but mentally we have to prepare ourselves as best we can. I am saying this not as some kind of throwaway line from a cheap, 80s action movie, but rather as a Catholic. Death can come at any time. It may be heart failure 80 years from now, it might be a bullet from an attacker next summer, or it could be an accidental head injury while stumbling on the stairs in 10 minutes. We must always be ready to face God and be able to say with St. Paul "My conscience does not, in fact, reproach me; but that is not where my justification lies; it is the Lord's scrutiny I must undergo."

I know some who may read this may be atheists. While I think your outlook is foolish, I would point out that even the old stoics, not just Christians, talked about the need to prepare yourself for death. Marcus Aurelius: "He who fears death either fears to lose all sensation or fears new sensations. In reality, you will either feel nothing at all, and therefore nothing evil, or else, if you can feel any sensations, you will be a new creature, and so will not have ceased to have life."

To sum up, don't be afraid. Try to be ready to handle whatever life is going to throw at you.

And go to Confession.

There Are No Chemtrails You F***ing Morons

So, there are some pretty common images floating around the net that purport to show 'Chemtrail Planes'. As with most things coming out of conspiracy theory forums, they are full of shit.

Let's go over a few, shall we?

Spraying Devices!

HOLY SHITBALLS!!! SOME DEVICE ON A PLANE!!!!

This one get's forwarded a LOT on conspiracy emails and posted on web forums. It does look odd, and most people haven't seen anything like that before. So, CHEMTRAIL PROOF!!!

EXCEPT...It's not really. It's a single plane, this one, in fact:

Registration N701BN. Look it up. It's for atmospheric research with the department of energy.

OMG. But THIS is totally a spray plane!!

OMG! It's a sprayer! What else could it be??????

EXCEPT...

Well, it is, but not the kind you think. This is actually an NKC-135A with the refueling boom removed and replaced with a water sprayer. Why did they do this? To test ice accumulation on wings at high altitude. Here's a picture of the sprayer in action:

Either that or chemtrail planes just act like dicks to fighter aircraft.

Well explain this you SHEEPLE!!!

Here's another one that gets passed around a lot. There are several versions.

Each little keg is dreaming about increasing global warming and sterilizing your grandkids.

EXCEPT...

You have to admit, this looks kind of weird. Why would something like this exist? To test the movement of passengers inside a flying 777, actually. They pump the water around the tanks in flight to simulate passengers getting up and moving around. Note that in the 'chemtrail' image they dishonestly added a bit of 'hazmat' text around the sign using photoshop that doesn't appear in the link.

We can go on and on like this.

Here's the problem though: A rational person, if a picture showing something like that is debunked, or even several debunked in a row, will eventually say 'Hmm, maybe I need to rethink my starting premise.' An irrational person will simply discard the image and continue to pull up more, ignoring the fact that it was debunked. This is what Chemtrail people do, and I have neither the time not the Christlike patience to cover all the bullshit they throw out.

I will cover one more item, mainly because it is ALWAYS mentioned by these people. They always come around to the statement: "Contrails NEVER used to last that long in the sky. Nope! Never! It's only recently with the CHEMTRAIL planes that these trails persist in the sky!" Something like that.

Instead of arguing the point, I'm going to give you a simple image:

WTF???

That's a picture taken of an anti-aircraft battery during WWII. The skies show trails from bombers and fighter aircraft. I would like to point out that this is in the 1940s.

THE NINETEEN FU*KING FORTIES.

So take your 'they didn't stick around that long when I was a kid' bullshit and cram it up your gullible ass.

And The Winner For The Most Bullshit on One Page Goes To...

So some of you might be wondering why I'm spending some time on this conspiracy nonsense. Are there not better things to talk about? Well, yeah, there are, I'll agree. My reason for this is that someone I care very much has plummeted far down the rabbit hole of this garbage and is lapping it up like antifreeze at a petting zoo.

Here's the thing about a conspiracy theory: It's intoxicating. It's exciting! It adds danger to your life! It answers a need your mind has to have a concrete reason for everything that goes wrong in the world instead of accepting that sometimes, just sometimes, bad things just happen. Did the plot to kill Archduke Franz Ferdinand finally succeed because of the purely random act of the assassin stopping to buy a sandwich from a cafe first instead of just going directly home, or, was it a plot by the European deli meat industry which, as we all know, is controlled by the FREEMASONS!!!?? (See? You got a little tingle when you read that, didn't you? Don't lie.)

I think this last one is most important for the particular person I mentioned, for reasons that I won't go into.

So, please excuse the swerve into strange territory for now. We'll be back to the more interesting stuff next time.

***

Just one page.

It boggles my mind how so much baffling bullshit can be thrown out on one page.

Wait, let's start earlier.

FEAR EVERYTHING!!!!

OK, so there is this book called "Behold a Pale Horse" by William Cooper. The book is pretty much a compendium of every single conspiracy theory you've ever heard of, and a dozen or so you haven't, at least all that were around in 1991 when it was written. Seriously. The only ones I couldn't find were Reptilians (which I think only started to be promoted in the late 2000s so it's pretty obvious why it's not in there) and Bigfoot. I guess the Freemasons didn't trust hairy people. Bastards!

Anyway, Cooper shows, by the overwhelming use of carefully picked, credible sources that... ok, sorry I was trying to be funny there, but I can't even finish that sentence. He mentions a lot of quotes by other conspiracy theorists who, in turn, either reference other conspiracy theorists or are making the statements themselves. His other favorite sources are all those that, when used in any high school or college paper, would get you an automatic "F": those paragons of knowledge "they", "other researchers", "many experts", etc.

Several things you need to know before we go further:

First, conspiracy nuts are HUGE on numerical symbols. Dates, when added together, add up to special numbers: 13 days, 666 hours, etc. The importance of things happening on specific dates is critical to them, because it MUST be critical to the Freemasons, or the Illuminati, or what have you. They never do anything on a date that doesn't have some historical significance, or so Cooper at least believes. The dates of all big events must be numerical sums of other critical dates and numbers, like on the sixth day of the sixth month, six years after some other event, etc. You get the idea. Remember this, it's REALLY important.

Second, conspiracy nuts are usually pretty stupid when it comes to simple, easily verified facts that aren't subject to conspiracy. For example, why a certain person was elected to a government position might be part of some VAST conspiracy, but the boiling point of salt water at sea level isn't controlled by a 'conspiracy', it's just a fact.

Third, Cooper, while verifiably having served in the Navy, claims to have seen an ENORMOUS number of random Top Secret documents (I guess the Illuminati just left them lying around like my kids do with legos), but his service papers, which he puts in his book to boast his credibility, make no mention of him having that kind of clearance at all.

Now we can pick up where we originally started.

I downloaded this "Behold a Pale Horse" in free pdf format, because to hell with actually paying money for it. Skimming through the book you get the feeling that Cooper is the kind of guy who would turn any conversation into a talk about conspiracy, and he would do it while leaning in really close, talking fast and unceasing, eyes wide, and sweating a lot. The book mainly reads like a stream of thought as it's not particularly organized. He doesn't build up one idea in a chapter, cement it and then use it as foundation to the next idea. It runs all over the place. He'll be talking about the Knights of Malta and then, mid paragraph, go off on an unrelated tangent for several pages on global warming before coming back to his main point of the original paragraph.

I settled on page 72 for a discussion because it touched on several topics that I had already read about recently. Since the actual facts of the topic were still in my mind, I was dumfounded by the sheer amount of bullshit on just one page. Let's dive right in, shall we?

Cooper claims that Plato was entombed in a pyramid (which one, cooper never says) as part of his initiation into ancient Egyptian mystical rites. How he knows this is not mentioned. Cooper doesn't even mention "They" or "researchers" or any of the other BS "sources" we all wish we could have used in school. He just asserts it. Historically, we think Plato was in Egypt at some point during the years he traveled, but we don't know anything else. How Cooper knows his was entombed for three days in a pyramid as part of a secret initiation is never revealed.

Cooper next explains that "according to many" (there's the BS copout for sources), the pyramids were built to commemorate and observe a supernova that occurred in 4,000 BC. There is so much wrong with this statement that you could write articles on it alone. First, the pyramids in Egypt were built as tombs. The Egyptians also built them, if the radio carbon tests are true, from a period starting around 2770 BC to about 1640 BC, roughly. So, to commemorate this supernova, they didn't build anything for 1300 years. But once they started, they build these things to observe this supernova, now long gone from view, and continued to build them for THIS supernova observation for over a thousand years. Nevermind that there have been, historically, other supernova that have been seen since then, it HAD to be this one that happened EXACTLY in 4000 BC!! We know this because…. He's William Cooper, damnit!

In actuality the oldest supernova mankind has recorded was observed in 185 AD, supernova SN 185.

Anyway, this 4000 year is VERY IMPORTANT, because you see, Freemasons count years by the 'year of light', which you get by adding 4000 to the current year. Why 4000? Why, because of this supernova of course!

Trouble is, there are a LOT of issues with that date. CP 1919, which is the pulsar that exists in the position that Cooper is claiming the supernova sits it. It was, as he mentions (one of the only times he's not totally full of shit), the first pulsar to be recorded. However, we're not sure how old it is. The nova fragment that is around the pulsar could be about 50,000 years old, according to British Cosmologists who have been studying it. Also, the pulsar itself may be deceptive in its period, which means…. We have no real idea exactly how old it is. So, Cooper has no evidence.

Another problem is that Masonic calendar. Cooper is trying to infer that this supernova is the basis for the "year zero" for the Freemasons. In actuality, Freemasonry's use of 4000 has a much more generic source: the Ancient Jewish calendar and how they figure the beginning of creation. So, again, Cooper is busted. It's a lot like how retarded modern atheists love to say "Christmas is celebrated on December 25 because Christianity is just a warmed over worship of the Roman sun god!" when, in reality, Sol Invictus postdates Christianity by a couple hundred years and the only reason Christmas is on December 25 is for the very boring reason that it is nine months after March 25.

Ok, I realize that's all pretty boring, but I PROMISE we're getting to the good stuff.

Now Cooper explains there is some prophecy that the same star that exploded in the area of the sky that CP 1919 sits in will be seen again, in the Masonic year 6000, aka 2000 AD. Yes I see you saying "But wait, I don't remember..." but just wait, it gets better.

Now Freemasons know you can't make a pulsar go nova, so they're going to INVENT a nova! How you ask? Easy. Enter the Galileo probe and "Project Lucifer".

"I am the devil! Fear my mass spectrometer!!"

The Galileo program was a probe sent to Jupiter years ago. It did some amazing stuff, including some research about potential life on Europa. BUT, according to Cooper, the REAL purpose of the Galileo probe was to carry it's approximately 50 pound nuclear power source into the core of the planet Jupiter and, when the enormous pressure was applied, detonate and jumpstart Jupiter as a new star! This would be the fulfillment of the prophecy and would been seen as a miracle by all, killing millions and ushering in the time of the AntiChrist in the Year 2000!!! Huzzah!!! And Cooper knew all of this because he saw random secret files while he worked in 'Naval Intelligence'.

If part of that seems vaguely familiar, it's because you probably saw the movie 2010 based on the work of Arthur C. Clarke. The difference in the story is that Clarke was not a raving idiot.

Aside from never happening, there are a few minor things that make Cooper's narrative untenable, things like, oh, the laws of physics.

Jupiter is actually viewed as a 'failed star', in that it has many of the qualities that would make up a possible star. What is keeping it just a gas giant and not an enormous nuclear furnace is not that someone hasn't lit a match there yet, but lack of mass. You see, you can detonate all the nukes you want on Jupiter, but you won't start anything. Without an enormous increase in the total mass of the planet, there is nowhere near enough pressure to initiate nuclear fusion of anything, which is what makes a star do what it does.

Again, this is physics, and physics that really isn't that complicated.

So, in addition to not happening, Cooper's sycophants are left with a serious dilemma. Either A, Cooper is full of shit and this was never actually a plan or, B, the most powerful, wealthy conspiracy in the history of mankind, who control or have access to the brightest minds our world has ever known in our entire history, was too colossally stupid to see a glaring flaw in their plan that could have been recognized by anyone who took astronomy in high school and or any physics in college.

And that's the rub, conspiracy nuts: Either your lord and savior William Cooper was a retard, or the Conspiracy you fear so much is more dumb and inept than Dr. Claw from Inspector Gadget. Which is it?

"What in the World Are They Spraying?" Your Bullshit, Apparently.

So, a certain someone gave me this documentary called "What in the World Are They Spraying". It's meant to be a huge tell-all, able to convince even the most hardened skeptic, using hard facts, that it was actually Darren Wilson who shot JKF. Wait, no, that's not right. Sorry, I'm getting my conspiracy theories mixed up. This has something to do with chemtrails, seeds, and a discussion on tornadoes by a crystal healer. Or something. Well, what the hell, I'll watch this damn thing so you don't have to. Please excuse the 'stream of thought' style of writing, as everything following this paragraph was written as running commentary while the film was playing, pausing occasionally.

Really wish I had Crow and Tom Servo along on this one. Let's get right into it!

***

We're first introduced to a lot of various people I assume we're going to hear from later:

Mark McCandlish – Claims he had secret clearance. Worked on the programs that created the ChemTrail programs? Hmmm, turns out not really. Was an artist it turns out who drew pictures of flying saucers and aliens that another guy who claimed to have seen the plans told him about. Seriously That's his claim to fame. That being said, the guy isn't 100% full of shit, only about 98%. Turns out that the 'flying saucer' was actually the same prototype VTOL aircraft the Air Force was experimenting with that the time that didn't work out as well as later models.

Scott Stevens – Talking hairdo. Uses the title of 'weather man'. That's strange, because he USED to use the term 'meteorologist'. Why the change? Oh, you see he got fired when it came to light that no, he never actually finished any schooling that would make him a real meteorologist like he claimed. He lied, simply put, and doesn't actually have the knowledge to do what he's doing. But he uses 'weather man' as that won't get him in trouble like when he called himself a meteorologist.

Claim: No blue skies are seen anymore, no dew on the ground in the Midwest? Were the filmmakers assuming that no one in the Midwest would actually SEE this film? The bullshit is thick already.

Claims of ultra high temps that are unheard of. Really? There were ultra high temps in Missouri in winter/cold in summer in the 20s. 1816 was the year with no summer. This isn't exactly new.

Mountain of data? Never shown. This is a common thing throughout this film.

Snow full of aluminum? Where's your data for that?
Barium in rain? So? Here's a little not about the samples they used.
"Samples of water were collected in August 2007, in Stamps Arkansas, by leaving some bowls outside for a month The resultant dirty water was tested by KSLA and was found to have the same amount of barium in it as most municipal tap water." So yeah, no big deal.

Random guy in cowboy hat: geo engineering causing drought in California! California drought  happened several times in 1870s, and a MAJOR one in the 1890s, caused by 'geo engineering' then too?

They talk 'Geo engineering data' and never provide any of it.

They talk a lot of nonsense about how we KNOW the climate should behave like this, but it doesn't because of these chemtrails... we don't actually KNOW what the climate should do, period. This is the same problem the global warming alarmists have: climate is unpredictable in the extreme. Anyone who claims like they do that they KNOW exactly what the climate should be doing is lying, no matter what his agenda is.

"Dr." Nick Begich is introduced. Yet another fraud. His 'diploma', based on what he himself claims on his own personal website, came from "Open International University", which is an unaccredited diploma mill in Nigeria. In short, he is lying about his 'credentials'. Would you like me to have the title 'Dr.' in front of my name? Only costs a few thousand dollars according to the "university's" literature.

Part of the course work this 'Open International University' allows you to specialize in, btw, is 'karmic and crystal healing'. Yeah... that sounds legitimate. He claims HAARP disrupts or "corkscrewing along the lines" of the earths magnetic field. The man doesn't even understand what a magnetic field is. His 'expertise' is nothing more than marketing at people who are easily frightened and too loose with their money. Every 'article' he writes is nothing more than a marketing ploy for any one of the various items he offers for sale. He's a snake oil peddler who preys on fearful people. Seriously, check out his website.

His claims about HAARP are equally unfounded. He talks as if everyone knows how the array 'controls the weather' (or causes chronic fatigue, or blew up the space shuttle, or 50,000 other conspiracy theories about it I've found). They present no evidence for anything at all. We are expected to believe it just because this guy, a man who bought his degree in 'alternative medicine' from a diploma mill in Nigeria, says so.

This film has a habit of doing the following: They describe some very obvious and well known piece of data, for example, how hail forms in a storm. THEN, they make the rhetorical jump by basically saying 'OK, since I'm an expert and we all just KNOW this weather control stuff is obviously true, then you can see how obvious it is that this is because of weather control...' Add some spooky music and some sped up time lapse photography and you have instantly the climate alarmist equivalent of the Da Vinci Code. Nothing they say actually FOLLOWS from the reasons they give. You're just expected to BELIEVE them because... why? Because he bought a degree from Nigeria?


Mark McCandlish talks about chemtrails now causing hail storms so powerful that they have baseball sized at sometimes. He says it like it's something new, and it's not.  Freak hailstorms with MASSIVE hail have been recorded all over, particularly in the American Midwest ever since they have kept official records. This includes a frighteningly massive one that hit the town of Potter Nebraska on July 6th, 1928 that made the town look like it had been attacked from the air. An interesting thing about that hailstorm in particular is that it was also when they found the largest hailstone ever recorded until then: a single hailstone weighing one and a half POUNDS. Was Goerge Soros seeding the sky back then too?

Dr. James Fleming is shown at one point. He is presented as a source, same as everyone else up to this point, implying that he is adding his weight to this argument, and talks about climate and warfare. What he says is pretty generic and doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the film. This shouldn't be surprising as Dr. Fleming, who did NOT get his degree from Nigeria, who actually has REAL credentials and knowledge, is actively AGAINST the entire idea of the chemtrail conspiracy. Fleming has responded publicly that he was interviewed, and it was several hours of interview time on general topics about weather, climate and military implications. They simply cut and pasted parts of the interview to make it look like Fleming was a shill for chemtrails, kind of like how the media made Pope Benedict seem to be promoting condom use.

Talking hairdo man Scott Stevens, the man who faked being a meteorologist, says, purely on the basis of his own 'authority' how it's easy to 'get rid of a storm with HAARP, just turn it off'. Really? Got any proof of that?

Michael Agne is the guy who talks about derivatives trading for crops and the like. His entire piece can be summed up in the following manner: "You can sell derivatives and make a lot of money if you know how to structure them. Would I be able to make even more money if I had some way to control the weather? Yeah, because then I could insure crops for a super high amount and make more when they fail then when they grow." Well, no shit. That can be said about ANY type of insurance. His presence here doesn't really make sense. He isn't proving anything about cloud seeding or chemtrails or anything else. I wonder if he knew why they were interviewing him. He is presented in such a way as to imply that he buys into all this, but never actually says anything about the specific topic.

Switches back to pretend weatherman who talks about buying heating credits if you want to cause cold in the Midwest, etc. This segment is meant to float on the authority given by an actual businessman in the previous segment mentioned above, but actually doesn't tie in in any logical manner. It's simply hairdo man saying 'that's what they do.' And your proof of this is, what again? Oh yeah! You never gave it.
Mark McCandlish talks about how derivatives is just gambling about the weather. Well, no shit. ALL insurance is gambling. Term Life Insurance is gambling that you won't die before age 50 so they don't have to pay out any of the money you paid them. Car insurance companies are gambling that they will get more money in revenue from you than you enter as claims. You see... people make money from this which means (get ready kids, here comes the leap. GET READY) and because they make money, THEY ARE CONTROLLING THE WEATHER!!!! QED BITCHES!!! Or something.....

Next up is Larry Oxley. He is a genuine businessman, like Michael Agne. He talks about derivatives in weather insurance. Side searches indicate he actually pioneered combining these various types of insurance as investment vehicles. He actually doesn't support any of the chem trail stuff, but he is added in an effort to give authority to the rest of the presentation.

A regular and dishonest trend in this film is the continuous switching from little snips, mid-sentence, from something like a prerecorded lecture on a general topic, like changes in precipitation  levels and the resultant effect on crops, to the middle of a sentence on a different topic by hairdo man talking about the 'particulates that these chem trails are dropping'. It's a classic attempt to assume authority from someone who actually has it by someone who doesn't. Kind of like how politicians just LOVED having their picture taken next to Mother Teresa even if they didn't give a shit about the poor.

tidbit facts thrown out like 'rain in amounts of 1.5 inches per HOUR that are just totally bizarre!!'  Really? That's odd because searching storm records online you find a LOT of instances of rain like that from all over the country dating back to even the 30s. Again, was George Soros seeding the clouds back then too?

Annoying bit of dishonesty keep cropping up: Sections taken from prerecorded interviews of people who are never named, at events that are never named, and you're not told what the topic is they are discussing. They quotes are obviously lifted mid-paragraph, many times, mid-sentence and are meant, along with the ever present spooky or at times mournful piano music, to add weight and authority. Hell, it could be anybody talking about anything. How is that evidence?

Lots of articles get shown in the frame, always blurry so you can't actually see what they are about. Again, to add authority. You get laughable 'references' too, like reference to 'news' sites like "Fellowship of the Minds" which is a step below such paragons of journalism like Infowars and also hosts nonsense about how the Sandy Hook murder was actually a government false flag operation, etc.
Unnamed person introduces us to our film's villain: GEORGE MUTHA F***IN' SOROS! EEEEEEEKKKK!!!!

You see, George Soros buys farmland. George Soros has money, lots of money, so..... GEORGE SOROS IS CONTROLLING THE WEATHER!

Cutting back to Dr. Fleming talking about various points in history where people fought over water rights. Historical facts... trying to shoehorn them in to 'prove' something or another. Doesn't tie in with the rest of the thought though. Yeah, Babylonians fought wars about controlling the waterways back then too. DAMN YOU TIME TRAVELING GEORGE SOROS!

Sherrie Klappert (CERTIFIED) organic farmer. Yes, CERTIFIED organic, damnit, and don't you forget it! (whatever that means). Why she is in this is a mystery. She wants the soil to be better. Well, yeah, misuse of the soil is a big problem...

Joel, another organic farmer and in my eyes the first CERTIFIED non cracker in this film. He mentions briefly that he's had issues with a couple of certain crops not growing well.

Cut back to Professor crystal healing insinuating that hey, what if you introduced something into the chem trails that could control the crops???? Uh.....

Voice over, I'm GUESSING it's Sherrie above talking about noticing chemtrails increasing over the years.  Holy shit! You mean that as transcontinental air travel has drastically increased over that last few decades you've noticed more planes in the sky? Get out of town! No way!!!

Minutes of hearsay and anecdotal BS from hairdo man about how this one time is saw this cloud just, like, dissolve man...

Exposition by McCandlish about how if you could control the weather, you would have a lot of power. Yeah, if I could control the output of the sun I would have even greater power. Does that then prove that George Soros has a solar flare generating machine?

Watching more of this, I think it was George Soros not Moses who announced the plagues of Egypt.

Dark implication that the tornado that hit Joplin was caused by weather control.... Proof is... Well, five days before that there were TRAILS in  the sky over California!!! So, there were never contrails in the sky before that? And if there were, why weren't there tornadoes? There's no proof here, just more assertions were supposed to take based on McCandlish personal authority. What kind of asshole things that the science of meteorology is SOOOO well understood that you can 'seed the clouds' FIVE days before and make a tornado hit a SPECIFIC city? How the fuck stupid does he think people are? Pretty stupid I'd say.
We go back to Sherrie. She says she has noticed a direct correlation between the chemtrails and the produce she's growing not looking as healthy and vibrant. This is funny because Lorelei and I recently watched a Dirty Jobs episode where Mike Rowe is visiting an organic farm in Hawaii that is growing specialty coffee beans organically. Their business  and crops are doing EXTREMELY well. Are coffee plants somehow immune from the evil mystical forces of George Soros or, perhaps, is our friend Sherrie not quite as good a farmer as she thinks she is.

Rosalind Peterson comes back on and states that 'all crop failures are related to weather modification'. Yes, she states that in the universal. Not even 'caused by inclement weather', but caused by weather modification. Because when the grain crops failed in France right before the French Revolution, that was apparently caused by George Soros too.... Apparently the man is a Time Lord.

Sinister statement: micro-climates (that is, the climates of specific areas) determine what crops grow best in that area. Our micro climates aren't stable. Well, no. I'm sure the Vikings that were growing crops and raising sheep in Greenland when the ice came were more than a little pissed when the ice came and swallowed their homes (some of which they are excavating, btw. FASCINATING story, look it up!). Used to grow grapes in northern England at one point too. Read some of the things that Ben Franklin wrote in relation to the almanac, he also mentions that some crops were not doing well anymore in certain areas. NONE OF THIS PROVES OR EVEN GIVES EVIDENCE FOR 'CHEMTRAILS'.
Barb Peterson talks again. She is the older farm lady we saw earlier who wasn't actually introduced. She runs farmwars. More on her in a second.

Sherrie Klappert comes back on about how rainfall isn't really predictable as she thinks it used to be... I'm beginning to actually think she has a mild mental disability based on the way she talks. Not being sly or sarcastic or something. Being serious. There's something with her that isn't right.

Back to Joel. Seems fungus got to his Chinese cabbage this year. (DUN DUN DUUUUUNNNN!!) well crap, our bell peppers didn't do anything this last year when just the year before we had a bumper crop. Oh, even the Roman histories make brief mentions of crop failures in areas that previously were amazingly fertile. Damn time lords!

Barb Peterson claims that Monsanto has a patent on a compound that address all the abiotic stresses that have been discussed up until now, and all the plants involved. OMG!!! Except.... No you lying hag, they actually don't. The patent Barb and FarmWars is talking about here is actually a jointly held patent that, no, DOES NOT cover everything. Monsanto doesn't own a part of it. The patent in question is actually held jointly by the USDA and Brazil's Department of Agriculture. But saying that doesn't seem as scary as saying 'MONSANTO' with creepy music in the background.
The film keeps cutting to Sherrie and Joel. What, were there no other organic farmers anywhere in the Hawaiian islands? Are these two indicative of ALL farming? Nothing is ever said. I think these were the most believable sob stories they could find.

I think this film is geared toward people who have never grown anything. Barb talks about Monsanto offering a 'drought tolerant seed', and acts like it's f***ing magic or something. I'm guessing she doesn't know that farmers for hundreds of years were trying any way they could think of to raise varities of certain crops in ways that would fights against stresses in their environment. It's on reason you have 15 pages of tomato seeds that aren't genetically modified when you get a garden catalog.
"Monsanto sales seem to correlate with weather problems." Yay for Barb again falling into the same logical fallacy that plagues 90% of this file: the assumption that correlation (or more in this case ASSUMED correlation) equals causation. BTW, the surge in popularity recently of the Fiat 500 in the US seemed to correlate with high gas prices. So it's obvious that Fiat is causing all the wars, disasters, political unrest and incrase in the standard of living in China and India that caused gas prices to be so high in the recent past! QED!!!
Barb now claims that Bill Gates is causing failures in crops. Perhaps he is a time lord as well?
Barb claims that Monsanto is to blame for the drought in Africa and all the associated death. Hey Barb, you know that a little over 100 years ago drought meant starvation and death in the areas we know as Western Civilization too. Remember that Irish Potato famine? We don't have that now. Why? Because of the industrial revolution, property rights, increases in farming technology, etc. Africa is absolutely backwards and has none of these things, so, Africa still starves. That's not exactly Monsanto's fault.

Monsanto offers drought tolerant corn to African countries suffering severe drought. This is evil for some reason. What should they do, offer corn seed that will die easily from drought? What exactly does this bitch want? They are 'disaster capitalists'. Would you call someone who sells cars to people whose cars have broken down to be a disaster capitalist? Hell, Africa doesn't have to take the corn. They can always starve too, I guess, which seems to be what Barb would prefer.

But wait!!!!! MONSANTO IS CAUSING THE DROUGHT!!!! DUN DUN DUUUUUUNNN!!!!!

They keep talking about the 'toxic chemicals' that we are dumping via chemtrails. They just assume it, and to buy into what they're saying, you have to simply assume it too.
Michael Murphy, our host for this sad bit on of cinema, comes on screen to start summarizing. This is an enormous 'just so' story that requires ignoring physics, chemistry, common sense, and never asking for evidence in order to swallow. Evidence, seriously, they have provided NONE. Not a single claim, not a single correctly structured argument. Everything has been hearsay by people who either aren't actually promoting this agenda, are demonstrable frauds, or are simply have no real knowledge of the topic in question.

Know what this reminds me of? Alberto Rivera. Look him up in Wikipedia. He was a huge anti Catholic propagandist who claimed to have been a Jesuit secret agent before converting to being a fundamentalist. He made lots and lots of wild conspiracy charges against the Church, even so far as we carefully created Islam. He never actually gave, you know, EVIDENCE for these claims. Oh, and there was this little thing of him actually living in Hoboken, NJ with active warrants out for his arrest for check fraud during the same time he claimed is was in Spain being made into a Jesuit priest, but that's just what MONSANTO wants you to think!!! Wait, I'm getting tired and all this is blurring together. That's it, I'm done. YAY FOR CREDITS!!

Wait, someone actually wanted their name associated with the making of his shit sandwich?